Ignorance is Certainly NOT Bliss

Here is a letter sent to the Premier Ed Stelmach, and Finance Minister Iris Evans.

Dear Sir, Madam, and others,

This letter is being written to express my extreme concern over comments made by Finance Minister Iris Evans as reported June 18th, 2009 by CBC.

While many aspects of what was said is extremely troubling, I want to focus on this statement

"The huge failure of Canadians is not to educate the children properly, and then why should we be surprised when they have mental illnesses or commit dreadful crimes?" - Full Story

Not only were these statements made in complete ignorance of the actual cause of mental illness, they perpetuate the uninformed stereotype that someone who suffers from mental illness is uneducated, has low intelligence, and is that Canadians should not be surprised when they commit dreadful crimes. As someone who is university educated, has a spouse and four children, has never knowingly violated the law or has any desire to "commit dreadful crimes", AND suffers from 2 separate and distinct mental illnesses, this comment is inappropriate, hurtful, and should never be made by someone who serves as a representative of the people of Alberta as our Finance Minister.

This is a further attack on Albertans who suffer from mental illness and clearly demonstrates this Governments direct assault on Albertans with mental illness by promoting hate, ignorance, and enacting policies and budgets that prevent Albertans with mental illness from obtaining the treatment they require. This is clearly an attempt at eradicating mental illness from Alberta by "pushing" them out of the province through denial of services and actively promoting ignorance by spreading mis-information about mental illness.

I ask for a full public apology by the Minister of Finance, I ask that she participate in sensitivity training and also be personally educated on the causes of mental illness. I also request that all Elected Officals participate in that education and sensitivity training as the Minister's comments were an extension of the beliefs and actions of this Government. Furthermore, I request that the Minister step down, or otherwise be removed from her position as the Minister of Finanace as such actions and statements are not congruent with the execution of her duties as a Minister of Finance.

Victims are Victims

Is it ever acceptable to tell someone in a wheel chair not to do certain activities because it has the possibility of making someone else uncomfortable? Regardless of who you are, I'm fairly certain you know the answer to that is, No, it is never acceptable. Similarly with rape victims being blamed for "causing" the rape. I could go on and on, but I'm sure you all get the point.

Why is it that as a society we understand this fundamental truth of basic human rights, but for some reason we choose to ignore that truth when we are confronted with the unknown?

Is it Religion? Culture? Privilege? Perceived Expectations? Likely a blend of them all with a smattering of many other factors mixed in. As a member of the human race, I find it sickening that almost every human being out there (myself included) has at one point or another been of the opinion that their discomfort is the fault of some innocent person. Why do we as a society force the person, who has no choice, into an unpleasant situation rather then make effort to change our own feelings and comfortableness with the situation?

Now with that in mind, let me tell you about my specific problem with this tendency. About 2 months ago, my wife and I drove three hours each way to pay a visit to my wife's parents and tell them in person about my transition to living full time as a female. We arrived on a Friday night and ended up going to see the opening night of Fiddler on the Roof at the community theater. I had never seen that musical, nor had any idea what it was about (hint, it has little, if nothing to do with Fiddles on Roofs). Here is the wiki if you happen to be as uncouth as I am. As luck would have it the entire premise of the musical is change, accepting change, and teaches the lesson that change is not some horrible four letter word.

The next morning, after breakfast, we were sitting around talking about various issues with the topic being steered in the direction of change. After about an hour of this, I finally got the nerve to tell them. Turns out, in their words, "they helped a transsexual not commit suicide during their transition in the 60s." Which was shocking to say the least, these are two Mormons with a long lineage of Mormon ancestry. In any case we had a pleasant discussion about how we would inform everyone, talked about my plans to mass-email people I didn't not have the means to tell in person, they gave their opinions about various people who should be given a more personalized approach, and afterward and ended up driving back home on a very good note.

About 3 weeks ago this all changed. We received an e-mail from her parents advising us to not tell anyone that didn't need to know until they absolutely needed to know. Basically they wanted us to hide and deceive everyone and not send out a mass email. This is rather hypocritical coming from Mormons to say the least. In any case, we ignored them and sent out the e-mail in the form of a wonderful prose that told everyone who I was. We then confirmed, on Facebook, our attendance at the family reunion this summer. This then began a back and forth escalating e-mail "battle" in first suggesting that my wife and kids go to the reunion without me, and began to morph into an outright war, "The reunion is on private property and if you attend we will call the police, ... but we'd still love to have your wife and kids come." Apparently I was a danger to the celebratory nature of the event because other people would be tense and worried about exposing their kids to me, and as a result many families would choose not to go if I went. Apparently 6 months is too little time to give people to digest that I am a woman, and that in addition to not telling them at all, I needed to give them more time to accept this (what brain does this make sense in?). In addition, they have said they are the spokespeople for their family and everyone else feels this way. They personally don't feel this way, it's really just their siblings. However we have got nothing but good positive, accepting responses from anyone who has decided to respond. So the real question is, how much crack cocaine are they using every day?

Why do they feel justified in excluding one member of their daughters family simply because my hair is longer then before, I wear clothes that was purchased out of the women section of the store and identify as a woman, rather then a man. What difference does time make. What does the incongruity between my biologic gender and my gender presentation have to do with attendance at family camp? Why are they so blind to reality that they have chosen to blame me for the "potential uncomfortableness?" I understand that it is certainly me who would be the focus of this unpleasantness. That I would be the excuse people would use in their justification of why they did not attend. However I fail to see the logic in any of that reasoning.

I cannot control what other people feel, think, or do. Why would they assign blame to me because other people are intolerant and fearful of the unknown. I don't care one bit what someone thinks of me, or my situation. Expecting me to hide in shame and fear because of other people's potential discomfort is absolute bull crap. If this wasn't the one year the event was on private property, I would just show up regardless, but I am a little concerned about driving, with four children, six hours one way, only to be thrown out by the police. Needless to say, it is a family reunion and, my family is of the opinion that if they want to specifically exclude one member of our family, then they are choosing to exclude us all.

So what is the point of this rant? I don't know, possibly I just wanted to rant. Maybe it was to illustrate the need for everyone of us to constantly work towards overcoming our fear of the unknown, to change our own perception into a more accepting and understanding approach. I would love to be able state what would appear to be obvious, that this is a direct result of them being Mormon, but I know that is not a true statement. I spent 13 years in the Mormon church before freeing myself and I know for a fact that this behavior is directly against Mormon doctrine about this specific situation. The Mormons may have no love for Transsexuals, and may actively fight against the legislation of their rights, but they also make the same fight against the legislation of rights for women. And they also specifically counsel members to love, support and be close to family members who may be homosexual, transsexual, drug addicts, or be in various other situations that are contrary to doctrine. No worthy Mormon could ever do what these people are doing. So despite my extreme dislike for their organization, it is not directly their fault. However the teachings of their church certainly create an environment of fear and intolerance which indirectly places blame on them, but doesn't remove it from the individual at all.

I am including the Serenity Prayer as a closing statement. I may not be religious, but growing up with a Alcohol Dependent father has taught me the many truths contained within it.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference.