Funny Business

Well it has been some time since my last post, which was oddly enough one day after FIVE government agencies declared war on my family. Needless to say I have been busy. I will however get back to being regular and making posts on issues I feel are relevant. As my life has taken a drastic swing towards advocacy, you should expect my posts will be along those lines for the most part.

On that note, I have been involved with the setup of a Non-Profit Organization called TESA which stands for Trans Equality Society of Alberta. We are legally organized and are very near being able to accept memberships and donations. I will try to keep people up to date on what is going on which should not be hard as my life at this point in time is tied to TESA. Having said all that, here is on of the funniest exchanges I have ever taken part in, it was cut and pasted from the TESA forums. Which I might add you are all welcome to come and peruse, however you will need to become TESA members to see the post contained below.....but you are also welcome to become members. Without further adu.....

Orginal Post by Jan (Co-Chair)

";-)

Okay, probably not really, BUT I PROPOSE THAT FROM HENCEFORTH NO BOARD MEMBER OF TESA SHALL RESIGN FROM THEIR POST OR THEIR POSITION MORE THAN ONCE PER CALENDAR MONTH, TO A LIMIT OF THREE TIMES PER CALENDAR YEAR, INCLUSIVE OF LEAP YEARS OR CALENDAR SYSTEMS OF NON-EUROPEAN ORIGIN (CALENDAR IS ALWAYS ASSUMED TO BE EARTH-BASED--NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO USE CALENDARS FOR PLANETS WITH ORBITAL YEARS ***SHORTER THAN*** PLANET EARTH'S!).

So say we all?

;-) ;-) ;-)"

.....

Reply by Jordenne

"I have a MASSIVE problem with this proposal. I currently use the Venus calendar which everyone knows is less then 2 days long!!! For you pathetic Earthlings, the Venusian year is 224.7 Earth days long and the Venusian day is 116.75 Earth days long. The sheer laziness of Earthlings revolts me. Venusian workers achieve amazing results during the course of their workday.... Whereas even the hardest working Earthling only puts in 16 hours of work before quitting. Absolutely pathetic. We can also have governments that last more then 3 freaking days....I mean COME ON are you all retarded???!!?? As this is part of my Venusian culture, I find it personally insulting that you would propose a policy that invalidates my heritage. This is nothing less then an outright attack on the Venusian way of life and stabs at our very existence! This blatant act of genocide will NOT be tolerated. Expect a swift and decisive response from our highly paid, highly pressurized Venusian lawyers. As the atmospheric pressure on Venus is 92 times that of that which your mere Earthlings are adapted to, all we will have to do is request a change of venue to a location on Venus that is not so blatantly Anti-Venusian. Your expect team of lawyers will be CRUSHED like wurms, (quite literally) and we will use the jelly from their eyes as jam on our toast!

This is so typical of Earthlings, always jealous of those of us closer to the sun, oh sure you ALWAYS favor Martian first. This plan of yours allows them to use their culturally appropriate calendar, no doubt they bribed you when you visited them with all those landing rovers. Of course NO ONE visits Venus.....I hate cliques, it's not like we have a choice that our year is shorter then yours yet our days are over 100x's yours. We were born this way. and we all know God doesn't make mistakes.

Sigh.... I wonder when the funding will be approved to change Venus' orbit to be congruent with what she identifies as...... I hate the bullshit right-wing crap Venus has to endure at the inter-galactic council. I mean seriously, did you hear they kicked out Pluto??!??? I mean WHAT THE FUCK, oh sorry your not a planet anymore. I mean for the love of all that is holy, just because you don't understand Pluto and he orbits in a slightly drunken manner doesn't mean you can just KICK HIM OUT. Who is next?? Jupiter?? No while he seems to be full of gas and has that weird red birth mark, he is WAY bigger then the rest, he'll just kick their ass. Saturn, that whore. Oh everyone look at me look at my pretty rings. She is such an attention whore. I swear she is shown in every freaking science fiction movie out there. Screw showing a spaceship flying past Venus, no other planet EXISTS with Saturn around. God I hate Star Trek.....

It not like we don't try. Every morning and night we BUST OUR ASS getting done up and making a good show for everyone, and that used to mean something. The Romans sent am emissary, the Goddess of Love. Venusian's were revered for their prowess in bed. (To a Venusian, 3 seconds is actually about 6 mintues.... needless to say the women LOVE it) But then everyone got distracted by their toys. The moon started getting attention, then Mars....I mean what the hell? Has anyone LOOKED at the moon's acne? I mean it's not hard, wash your damn face.

Now it's so bad that we are not even allowed to have water on our planet. I mean at least Mars can keep it stored in subterranean orifices, I mean talk about WEIRD. I have always heard stories about planets inserting weird things into themselves, but WATER??!! sigh, there is no decency in the Milky Way anymore.

Anyway where was I...yes prepare to get crushed.

Loyal Venusian Jordenne"

Hope that made someone smile.